Evan Noam Ziv birth story & name explanation:
Dear Evan,
Welcome to our family. We love you so much already. And we love how much you deeply want to be here. Your existence came into our consciousness on January 1st, 2018 on one of the coldest days of the year. It went from extreme cold to extreme heat and my belly grew with you inside… growing. We spent the last few weeks wondering when exactly you’d come out. Finally, on a Monday evening after I did a few treatments at the office, Daddy picked me up and we all went to the Acme, and came home. During the bedtime routine, my cramps got stronger. I knew this was the night… the night after the full moon. I called Midwife Terri and Doulah Nets to give them the heads up.
I lay in bed from 11-12 PM listening to hypno-birthing soundtracks for labor and had contractions about every 10-15 minutes. Some were mild and I could bear them lying down. Others were more intense and I had to reposition to all fours. As each one subsided, my chest relaxed and I let out a deep sigh. At last, the chest tightening anxiety I had felt during the pregnancy was releasing. Nick lit some candles around my rock display on the windowsill and I enjoyed the warm glow of their light.
Around midnight, it was clear that I could not lie in bed anymore. I was back and forth from the toilet for about an hour and around 1:30 AM daddy took Maayan to pee and changed Ayla’s diaper. Your brother and sister were both asleep and Daddy and I went downstairs. Doulah Nets with her one year old arrived from Maryland and contractions intensified more. I call them expansions because as one part of the uterus contracts, the other part was expanding to make space for you to come out. Again, I released deep sighs after each one. In the short few minutes of respite between the intense body sensations, I sat on the gliding chair and held a shiny rock I had found in the stream with Ayla a couple weeks prior. My laboring noises got louder and it became more challenging to breathe through the expansions. I was on the toilet again clearing out and we called our Midwife Terri saying, “come now” and she was on her way.
Around 2am, I said, “Let’s go outside.” I walked out into the yard and saw the shadow of myself in the moonlight. Daddy was busy filling the birth tub outside and gathering candles for ambiance and so we could see details in the moon shadows. With each expansion, I crouched with my hands on the earth in the wet grass and allowed myself to release whatever groans, grunts and spitting noises came out. I asked Nets to give supportive healing touch as she felt would be good and she gently pressed on my shoulders and hips. Her baby was in the ergo on her back and he cried with me during the expansions.
I guess it was around 2:30am when they became very close together and I focused on the shadow of my head and shoulders in the grass from the moon shining down behind the house. Between expansions, I turned around to glance up admiringly at the bright full moon, and all around me at the moonlit yard.
Then I could feel it was time. Somehow, I had the wherewithal to realize that Daddy was not there and told Nets to get him. He was inside looking for candles. He quickly came out and I knew the baby’s head was crowning. Daddy and Nets gathered close and I crouched in the wet grass and pushed out the crown of your head. I felt between my legs and expected to feel a hairy head, but it was smooth and rubbery. Was this your butt? Were you bald? No. You were born in your sack of waters with your face peering out.
After a long moment of awe and wonder, at 2:40am, I pushed your whole body out and Daddy caught you. I stepped over the umbilical chord and we sat on the ground, the earth, our solid rock (Evan) with the radiance (Ziv) of the moon shining upon the pleasant (Noam) scene. You did not cry right away. I had a short moment of panic because you seemed to be a little floppy or sleeping. Nets advised me to rub your back which I did and you awoke with a cry. A few minutes later, midwife Terri arrived. I birthed the placenta. Daddy commented on the mica he saw sparkling on your skin, which glistened in the moonlight. You breathed calmly, cried a bit and lay content in my arms. Then daddy held you against his skin and the whole entourage with placenta in the ceramic pitcher made its way inside. When I stood up I was very weak and light headed. Terri supported me as I walked slowly and carefully to the couch.
We sat inside and listened to the hooting of the great horned owl and the screech owl. It was so special. We basked in your presence and watched your head change shape and your old wise face shift into a slightly more baby face. Nets’ baby was joyful and playful. We sang you your song and welcomed you: “Oh you, came to your life so true. Oh you, came to our lives so true. Ooh-ooh…. Into this life we go. Through this life we flow. Learning what you need to grow. Knowing that you never know. Oh oh… Oh you…” You lay on my belly and I let you wiggle your way up to find my nipple for your first suckle. You pushed your feet into my hands, found your way and clearly knew what to do. Around 5:30 am, we burned your umbilical chord while singing your song, havdallah, and more. I was still very weak. Terri guided me upstairs to get in bed with you. I thought I was going to pass out so I rested my head on the long table then crawled upstairs like a mountain lion. We got in bed just before sunrise. I felt safe and wonderful being at home.
And, 8 days later, we finally chose your name. In Hebrew, Noam Ziv means pleasant Radiance: the best description of your birth scene and your nature as far as I can tell in this short time. This phrase is also found in a psalm called Yedid Nefesh, which is traditionally sung during Kabbalat Shabbat to welcome Shabbat. “Please o’ God, heal her now by showing her the pleasantness of your Radiance. Then she shall be strengthened and healed and eternal gladness will be hers.”
With this name you also carry the legacy of my mom’s father, my Pop, Bernard “Bin’am” Perlman. If we stretch the pronunciation of his yiddish name, we get “bi-noam”- with pleasantness. One of Pop’s jobs was to pick up all the kids to drive them to the daycare he ran with my Bubby in their home. I imagine that his pleasant nature welcomed the children each day and sent them home safely in the afternoons. Let’s give a huge ‘thank you’ to Pop and all of your ancestors for making the choices that did that allowed us to be here today.
Now to explain your English name: The Hebrew word Evan means Rock or Stone and the same middle name, Ziv, makes the full name mean radiant stone… like the Moon under which you were born, and like the big rock called earth illuminated by the glow of the moon.
To draw the picture bigger- there is a story in the Bible of Jacob who made a vow just as I did when we learned of your existence (readers, feel free to ask me about it and I’ll be glad to share this story). Jacob found a Rock and declared “If God remains with me and protects me on this journey and gives me food and water and clothing, Adonai shall be my God. And the stone, which I Have set up as a pillar shall be God’s abode…” With his head on the rock, Jacob sleeps and has the dream of angels going up and down the ladder. He wakes and pours oil on the stone and vows his connection to God.
It is said that babies who are born in the caul/sack of waters have a strong spiritual connection to past present and future and can be like shamans or seers. With this name, Evan Ziv, I bless you with the ability to see stones illuminate and learn from many signs in nature. We bless you with this strong name of a rock, old and firm, grounded and solid to guide you through your life. May you build a life with justice and righteousness and may it be pleasant.
I love you so much,
Mommy
Finally, I’d like to share the intention of your middle name as it fits with your sibling’s middle names. We have Maayan Chadash- New water spring, Ayla Netzach- Eternal Tree, And Evan Ziv- radiant Rock. When we take all three middle names, we invoke the intention for a New Eternal Radiance. We are grateful for each of you reading this for doing your part to bring this intention into being.